I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
