maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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