She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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