You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
we should paint friendship bongs
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
