this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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