what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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