i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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