My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
