we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
