He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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