no you cant smoke seaweed
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
