Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
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He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
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Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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