You just made me feel so damn special
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
