Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
