i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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