god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
