Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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