and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
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I intend to get homeless drunk
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
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I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
How naked do you want me to be?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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