Duck Duck Cougar?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
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