i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
