that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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