So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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