She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
