just come out here and I will go home with you...
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
