I showed him my bush... on skype.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
