You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
