In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
