My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Randomize
