2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My feet surprised me
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