butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
