If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just blew my weed a kiss
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
