The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
