Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Farmville is her only friend.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
