She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
