dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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