problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
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