Someone shit on the floor
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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