Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
