once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
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I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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