i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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