I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
