After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
it's like iHOP with fire
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
