Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
