this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
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ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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