I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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