the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
