does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
