your thong is hanging out like whoa
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
