ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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