the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
