Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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