yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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