super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
