Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
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