yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
