You don't have asthma, your pregnant
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
