I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
