Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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