i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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