new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
