ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
