we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
