i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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