I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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