a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
