do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I smell stomach acid.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
